Potentially Dangerous Difference Between What Parents Block and What Kids Play Online


welcome to a healthy bite your one
nibble closer to a more satisfying way of life a healthier you and bite-sized
bits of healthy motivation now let’s dig in on the dish with Rebecca huff it’s
Rebecca and today’s healthy bite we are talking to Manuel – is that right? I want to make
sure I get you’re the pronunciation – that’s correct Manuel, yeah and your position at
Qustodio is? VP – Vice President of product. okay. And Qustodio – if you’ve been with me for a
while you have read some of my articles about Qustodio – it is a – well I’m
actually gonna let you tell a little bit about what Qustodio is but today for
the healthy bite we’re gonna be talking all about Internet safety for our kids
but I also want to confess that I use Qustodio for my own safety so tell us a
little bit about what Qustodio is how it works and just kind of give us a
general idea so in Qustodio is peace of mind for parents I have a daughter right? so
to me the reality is that our kids are all digital – all the time right? so they
are connected hyper connected – using many screens mobile phones tablets Smart TVs
and then that’s great because they could get tons of interesting stuff but at the
same time when they get there they get in a whole new world where you could
find like cyberbullying you could find grooming. there’s different risk and
Qustodio, as a parent to me feels like my network, my security, my peace of mind
helping me ensure that my kids – when they are online they are safe they are
enjoying but at the same time they are protected right so it’s kind of the
definition I have for Qustodio – okay now I don’t want to get too technical but is Qustodio
software or hardware or how do you describe what it actually is?
from a product perspective – let’s say it’s a software it’s an app right? so
basically you you say hey which devices my kids are using or even myself you
mentioned that sometimes we are using Qustodio for
yourself right so Qustodio needs to be installed in the in the device that you
want to monitor, to supervise, or to protect and since that moment Qustodio starts
having the information and then you could either use to study more to have a
general summary of what is going on or you could set up certain limits – for
instance let’s say you’re sick at home and you don’t want him or her to be like
watching violence or pornography so you could filter out, say hey I want to
filter out all this content right so basically in Qustodio works in the devices
that the software is installed. could be a mobile phone could be a tablet could
be a Mac, could be a Windows would be different devices . right – so we started
out putting Qustodio in it it was actually very easy to install on our
devices I started out with it on the computers, I ended up putting it on my
daughter’s phone and eventually I put it on my own devices because one of my
websites got hacked and I was gonna go to my website I just innocently typed in
my URL and this porn site popped up and I was like – I don’t want to see it -thank
God none of my kids are around and of course then I contacted the person to
fix it and everything but it made me realize how easy it is to end up on a
website with stuff that we don’t want to see and at that moment because I know I
would never go and look for these particular things I wasn’t thinking
about my own computer but sometimes my kids use my computer and you know I just
decided – okay this is for my own you know just for my own peace of mind I’m
putting this on my own computer because I don’t want to stumble across that
again so I went ahead and I put it on my
computer and like you said it’s so easy to set up the controls you just click on
the rules and you just filter out the things that you don’t want – we can filter out
pornography you can filter out mature content you
can pick specific websites to filter out and what I love – with my kids sometimes
they’ll come to me and there’s a particular website that maybe is blocked
because I blocked the general theme but there’s one website
that’s still blocked and they want to see that website, all I have to do is add
that to the list of okay websites yeah that’s that’s right and I think you
mention something which is Qustodio it’s also a mechanism to
to educate and to teach your kids right so when we have kids you are also mother
so you are we care about what they eat right so you don’t give them everyday
sweets or cake you set up some limits so for digital is the same I think if
people believe it’s a complete different thing but it’s not it’s something that
is part of the reality and as father mother we have the obligation to really
educate our kids and the first path to educate is understand what is going on
if I see my daughter watching videos of anorexia – probably what I want to do is
not just blocking but have a conversation with her is like Hey, is this
just curiosity or it is really because you want to be like that youtuber who is
like really promoting anorexia then I could have that conversation
and depending on my parenting style depending on the family situation
depending on how my kid is I really have the tools to have the conversation so I
always encourage people to combine the tool with conversation because then you
could define the limits based on your reality and when people ask me what is
the right limit ? I don’t really know right every family’s different who am I
to tell you? then we offer and we believe that’s a beauty Qustodio – the tools so you
create your own filters and you learn the more your kids are educated the more
and the less limit you need right because they take know what are standards for
them so it’s my duty to educate them and connect to to give them tools also to
see what is going on I have this conversation with my daughter like, “Dad
just then I was only 20 minutes connected” and then I say “well you were three hours”
in like- yeah I lost perspective right so this is helping helping me as a father
and so now Qustodio allow everybody to have this conversation I
really see the beauty of this part of the product like fostering and
triggering these conversations. right and I think something that you said there
about the conversations that’s happened to us as well – what I love about
Qustodio is it helps me kind of get a handle on what my children are curious about and they know ahead of time because that’s the kind of parenting
style I have is that they know I am gonna be checking to see what they’ve
been searching for and that’s what I love about Qustodio as opposed to some
of the other filtering systems that I’ve tried with Qustodio I can click on the
exact link that my child looked on and I can see where she went and what she was
looking at and so then that can like you said lead to a conversation because kids
this is how they stumble upon this stuff that we don’t want them to see online is
just curiosity and sometimes they’re afraid to talk to us so it is kind of a
tool that has helped to open up a lot of conversations and so I do have a lot of
I wrote a pretty couple of pretty in-depth blog posts about those so if
you guys are listening and you want to know more about how Qustodio works
you can go to those – I’ll make sure to put the links in the show notes and
everything but I want to change tracks and talk about an infographic that you
Qustodio has sent to me and it’s talking about how Qustodio had mined
its platform for data and from like two hundred thousand plus users in the US
over a one month period and you came up with this infographic and it’s talking
about the findings which were pretty surprising but maybe not surprising for
some people – I was surprised the top three games played by girls was roblox
which I’ve never heard of but of course I’m old and then fortnight and minecraft
and then the three games played by boys were roblox minecraft and Clash Royale
so I thought it was really interesting parents – It says parents are only
blocking about half of the most addictive video games and all of the top
games kids play contains some sort of violence! absolutely I think games is a
super interesting and by the way there’s a lot of fans of gaming’s here in our
office we have old arcade machines so it’s not like we are saying the games
are wrong because we love games what we learn is that each game could be really
nice but could be really dangerous and we’re talking to the guys of Common
Sense Media and they help us to see which games are really dangerous and
then we were also surprised to see that some of the games considered
by experts as dangerous are not really blocked and the reason is that we as parents, as you
said, we don’t know the games that kids are playing right so, I didn’t know
Roblox until I joined Qustodio and I saw my daughter started playing so I
think it’s very difficult for parents knowing all the games so it’s true there
are certain games that apparently are “innocent” that are really dangerous and the other way
around there are games that maybe there are nice games
I mean you want your kid, you promote you kid playing that – because it’s educational
right so you’re right, we were surprised that games that are really considered
dangerous according to these Common Sense Media ranking are not even
considered, right? so this could be Fortnite could be some elements of the
themes or Overwatch the different games that hey kids are playing and your
your first reaction as a father, is this a nice game or is it not a nice
game and it’s not a nice game we need to have the conversation – give some
context your kid – maybe play with him or her right? that’s another option that we
recommend but you need to know that maybe your kid is seven years old and he’s
playing something which is basically killing people with strong violence
right so then you need to know that and get it to give your kid, hey, you know
that is just a game, right? it’s important that we educate our kids because otherwise they get the
new normal for them and the it is the same for pornography
we in different infographic to see hey it’s not just that kids at nine ten
years are watching pornography – it is the type of pornography they are seeing there as
normalized in situations that are completely wrong. And are really harmful for the
society right?so I think it is very important to be on games definitely we
saw as you said 50 percent of the most dangerous games not being blocked
because parents say OH that could be a nice game right So I’m not gonna spend time watching – we need to
understand so that’s that why we create this infographic – right? and um I think
there’s um another aspect of video games beyond just the video game itself for
example we play Minecraft as a family I have six kids and most of them enjoy
playing Minecraft I think I have one daughter who doesn’t really like any
kind of video games but the other five enjoy playing Minecraft and so you know
kind of in the parental “if you can’t beat them join them” kind of spirit I
decided to have a Minecraft so I guess about I don’t know maybe seven years ago
I created my own minecraft character and I have to say I was amazed at how
addictive this game is so we started playing and I was building things and it
was amazing or you know there’s certain ways you can play it where you’re like
mining for diamonds and different things so whether you’re playing creative or or
survival mode and so I really started getting into this and having my own
world and then I would be out and I would see something like a truck going
down the interstate with turf where they’re gonna go build something like
landscaping and there would be turf stacked up and I would think oh that’s a
grass block I wann play Minecraft and I mean there were certain things that
would trigger it or I would hear my kids talking about playing Minecraft after
school and I would think I wonder if I have time to play it and I thought man
if it’s this addictive for a 40 year old what’s it like for kids?? yeah! I feel like
with things like Minecraft is when they when kids are playing it by theirselves
that’s one thing but there are these servers where kids can play with total
strangers right absolutely and I think that’s very important remark because you
get these grooming, these strangers reaching online and they use the games
as an entry door right ? so and could be obviously for let’s say sexual topics
but could be even in some cases they are ripping off and getting some money right
so they they say hey sell me that give me this is the bank account and they
give hundreds of dollars of money and they use a credit card of the way of the
family so I think is really really important what you did which is
understand in the game and seeing potentially what they what they are
doing because again, minecraft, as you said, could be a fantastic game, addictive
game or a healthy game right so it’s not different to the offline games we used
to play in the 80’s probably right? it’s just gaming and in fact the problem is
that you’re opening a Gate – A massive way for let’s say the wrong people or weird
people to reach your kids. So, you need to be watching you need to be observing and
you need to understand if they are interacting with the people
that they do not know and obviously they don’t have a nice purpose or they have
such a – seek intentions that is important that as far as we know what is
going on. right – I mean you hate to think that but there are predators out there
and they go on these minecraft servers and other game servers with the
intention of you know getting in touch with kids and that’s where parents need
these filters so how does Qustodio come into play for example say my kids are
playing Minecraft and they try to go on to a server
how does Qustodio help you in this situation? so the first thing that you
get is understanding of the time spent right so I think that, that hope was a
persistent because you could always say it’s nice game it’s interesting game is
but time is relevant and if that happens that he’s playing for hours per day he’s
playing at night he’s playing at certain point is not going out with real friends
then that creates the first conversation right? so I think the first step is to
check the limit – the time – and the moment of the connections once you have that
because Qustodio tells you not only to know the time but the time and the
device you could start having the conversation also we we obviously
encourage parents to have this conversation and then we keep working
with them, with our customers to say what would be the next thing you would like
to have on those specific things again, cause, right because there is this
friction that parents wants to keep – still a healthy relationship with kids
and you don’t want to overstep and then I feel wrong if I’m reading the messages
of my daughter , unless she allows me to do that right? so I think that there’s
this element of privacy that I think sometimes as parents, we we have also to help so I
think it’s important to keep a balance because just forbidding and they’re
saying no no no and you cannot use it is not right so I think my recommendation
or custodian recommendation is understand the time right maybe you
could say a healthy time limit and then start asking in a nice way, who are you
playing with? What are you doing? and try to have this conversation also
let them know that they could show you you you mentioned it before that sometimes
they don’t even know that something is wrong or they are afraid they did
something wrong, so I think you need to create the the conversation you need to
foster this conversation so our recommendation is that we try to go not
beyond that because at one point we also believe kids may still have their own
space their own privacy and then you overstep then you are creating the wrong
incentive right? but again it’s hard to give an answer for every type of family
because every type of family has personal circumstances right? I’m
always sticking to this because hey maybe would work for me as a family
doesn’t work for your family every situation even in the same family two kids are completely different or the same kid is having a behavior and delayed and
all of a sudden something happens in school and something changes right? so I
think for us that that is a approach to the game letting parents know
what is going on that level and creating the the incentive to have the
conversation with kids. – but from a technical aspect what would a parent see
if their child joined a game server?what will we see on our filtering end? so
basically you see the time he’s connected and then the URLs in case there’s a
follow up URL than the kids to visiting as a result you have a sense of not only
the time but also their specific things and even from the games you could get
into different territories so you also know that, so you know the specific URL
I think you have enough in a nutshell both the activity and the time and then
I think then when you have a good understanding plus as you mentioned, you have
the keywords that they are searching for – you also captured intent which sometimes
is more relevant – if you see your kid is playing and after that is
searching for I don’t know gambling or betting or do you think you could start
understanding there’s a relationship on what happened after the game – I mean
we try to keep some element of privacy and also there’s elements of data
protection that we need to follow us for yes there’s other chances
we want to stick to those standards so that’s the way we do it. we give parents
enough information but there’s an elements to things – they need to go and to have
the specifics but if they have the URLs they can connected with the time span,
so altogether we we believe it’s great to this information. also a interesting thing you mentioned, we keep having, having interviews and
conversations with parents and obviously some of them want to have more specifics,
some of them wants us to in a way create this game and say hey which ones do you
recommend, so we are we are trying to to have this ongoing conversations with the
parents to ensure that we adapt the product to their niche – we don’t want to
force a world where everything is is in a way but we will do offer parents
different paths so that is the way so we having
I remember a family, saying what we do is every night we also have to study for ourselves so we
share what we did with our kids and then the conversation is not about you are
doing the wrong thing you say yeah I also spent some times doing and watching
the stupid movies online because I need it , I was off of work and I need 20 minutes watching something – I mean
this this mindset I think is the best way to to address the conversation and
also we get a lot of kids saying yeah that’s fine but you know my my benchmark
is – I always look looking at the phone they are always there. like they don’t have
time to spend with me right so when I say I need to talk, it’s like, let me just finish this work
email let me I’m watching Netflix So I think that’s also very telling
right? for what Kids are doing it’s like It’s not that they don’t want limits, when a kids
say I want my parents to help me or to protect me right ? so obviously they don’t
want control on everything but they need some boundaries because they don’t know
what is right or wrong they are native digital but they are not
expert right because this is new so they don’t really know nobody knows at this
point what is healthy and what is unhealthy that needs to be some some how
education and conversation so kids also want basically Hey my parents if they
care about me the same way they care about what I eat
they need to care about what I do online! maybe initially they say oh no I don’t
want my dad to, but if you go deeper if you ask the right questions then what you get is
like “hey I want to feel that they care about me and what I do online is
important in my life therefore I want them to put away” care about
that. yes so I’m glad that you brought that up because I do use Qustodio
sometimes as a time manager I’ll go back and look to see how I spent my time when
I was on the computer and that made me think of another topic which is YouTube.
can you tell me what’s new with Qustodio and YouTube. That is a very very good
question Youtube I think has internet is Youtube in a way, right? so when you ask kids of five six years, 70–80% percent of
them are watching videos in Youtube and you do – I think it’s a perfect summary of the
Internet great content educational content and garbage! sorry to say
right? so it’s really wrong videos unhealthy content. so then what happens
is that we decided to spend a few weeks and a few months to see what else can we
do for parents on YouTube and what we are doing there in YouTube is first you get
a more detailed list of the videos that your kid is watching so you’ve been
specifically said hey it’s not two hours on YouTube because for you to be
fantastic and watching how to play it guitar, so that’s nice or could be
watching how to kill someone right? so that completely wrong so those two hours are not the same. and so we give some visibility on the video and we also give them a summary of
how many videos and which type of keywords that the kid is searching so
you start getting a good understanding of what is going on in YouTube because
YouTube becomes alone 60 , 70 percent of the time of the kids are on line so
basically our recent brand new YouTube monitoring service offers parents a
more advanced insight over the kids are doing in YouTube in like a Qustodio of
the YouTube right? in a way it’s a mini Qustodio so it’s still in the early
stages we are learning and we did Beta in July to some customers
So we open to everyone so we encourage our customers to bring those
ideas because some of them say it would be good also to blacklist certain
keywords right so if you try to search for something those keywords are not
allowed or in the title so we are really collecting about the basic service we
have no it’s the monitoring and we are getting good good feedback I think
parents are saying that’s a great step and as usual, when you offer something
new to people they everyone want’s more right ? so we are in that phase of
collecting feedback but definitely something that took a few months and
from a technology perspective was a bit of a challenge and we know because
sounds like obvious but there’s many complexities but we are really proud of
what we did and we also see parents giving us encouraging message so we want
invest more in these YouTube experience and what we try to do is listen to our
customers right so we have this service available and we are
collecting feedback and the next iteration of YouTube is going to be
based on what our parents warned about and I’m also a customer. so I’m one of
those providing feedback. But we want really to have the more information the
better so I encourage all the users to say hey what is it Youtube service or
monitoring should have? because obviously we know is it’s not finished because
Internet is so broad that there is always have complicated and we wanted
to start with something that we believe is meaningful because a few of us are
parents or is in a way easy for us to define what is be useful but we want
more people to give us feedback and say hey why don’t you do that what do you do
this and then they might say that we have wished to keep it regularly. so we
we are really happy I believe it was has been one of the most challenging
projects for a technical perspective for for different reasons but now we are
happy that we managed to get this on available for our users it’s available
for all users yeah we want to keep it… on this
great yes I think that that was a really important thing that you added when when
I first started using Qustodio that was not one of the things that you offered
so it was you know, maybe a year and a half ago when I started
using Qustodio and now I know when that email came out in July I was like wow
this is gonna be a game-changer for a lot of people because I know a lot of
younger parents do let their children have maybe an iPad to watch some things
on YouTube and they you know they want to know that their kid is safe and so I
feel like this is a huge step for Qustodio and and very useful tool for
parents to be able to help their children to be able to learn because
there are a lot of educational things on YouTube but like you said there’s also a
lot of garbage so, – I’m glad you like it and I think for us, it’s something that would
to keep investing, also not only Qustodio, but what I learned that 70% of videos in
YouTube come from the recommendation right so it’s triggered by YouTube so
that’s create that recommendation in a way that the way is designed for is to
maximize the time they spend online right so that due to algorithm basically
the main purpose is to keep you all spending time online and then
when all of the sudden you say oh I spent the last three hours watching videos. I just started out to watch a song and then I am end up being… if that happens to us, imagine to kids, right? and the problem is that if there’s a blurry line between hey this is just a prank right so it could be funny but then prankers could become
like more and there’s a journey a little bit on the grey line what my daughter
was like five years old she was watching Dora the Explorer
you know the show? Right? So, she was and all of a sudden, it was a prank
and she was shocked for three four days and she didn’t want to watch more videos
because the prank, it was not a funny one for her right, so it was really, Dora
the Explorer have been pain and you would say what is the impact of, in a
kid of five years so if you don’t know and luckily I was there and she was like
what happened but imagine you have your daughter or your son watching videos and
then they get in these paths of unhealthy videos wrong videos. That as a father
or as a mother you want to know what is going on and you
to have the conversation right and unfortunately some cases are very easy
to detect you could say, sex, violence … but then the line is
about what about anorexia what about if slim girls right so, the the line are
sometimes is not that clear, so unless you have good visibility you could feel, oh
everything is perfect if three hours is content rated, no. that is not really right
and that’s an important subject that you brought up because they do say research
has shown that kids that are prone to talking about suicide or cutting, harming
themselves, they will a lot of times go online and go into these forums and it
kind of, they feed on each other and it can spiral out of control really quickly,
and I think it’s just a really useful thing that when parents see these things
popping up and they’re filtering and they’re monitoring that that is a very
easy way to you know gain access to talk to your child about what is going on and
it can be a very delicate, you know topic to bring up with your kids and it’s it’s
really hard but it is a tip-off so if you see these things that your child is
searching for it is, you know , something that you are able to bring up with your
children. absolutely! What you describe is sad but true, the reality of these
people prone to commit suicide to make the comment -it’s a reality – so it’s very important that’s why we also like idea of giving you information about the
keywords because maybe the keywords are not the specific video but so using intent
what is in in your kids mind and I strongly believe in keywords as an
element saying hey if I see certain type of keywords –
feels that there’s some community of there right and I just really want to
talk to, to my daughter and say hmm what is interesting why are you asking
these questions? and maybe it’s just curiosity it’s not that they plan to
do that but they heard something at a school. A kids killed himself So, they did
so, you could have perfect conversation Yes, reality is that some people kill themselves, suicide, and then you can explain and give some context otherwise the only
context they will get is youtube context which I said, could be fine, but could be
completely misleading, or even sick so you don’t want your kid to only have the
expertise coming from any random youtuber you really want to have your
voice or even say hey take care be careful that is just fiction –
or this is just a part of reality we need to have this conversation it is
super important right? I keep saying this sorry, it’s not just setting limit you’re
controlling, it’s a matter of understanding what is going on and then have the
conversation with them. conversations yes keeping that line of communication open is so
important . well before we go is there anything that you think that we have
maybe skipped over anything really important that parents need to know
about you know, online access, filtering monitoring, or Qustodio in general? so to
me I’m a bit of repeating myself lately but hey, mate, digital is as important as, as
food for your kids right? so all parents care about food and education right? you
care what about the school, what about what are they eating? so put digital or
technology at the same level because it’s feeding their minds it’s filling
their minds and so you need to pull it in the same manner and then adapt to
your reality to your personal circumstances to the kid circumstances
use tools, hopefully Qustodio, but use tools to help you right so you don’t need
to to become if you are not a controller you don’t need to become a controller but you just need to be like hey, understanding what is going on so put at the same
level – that’s my kind of tip of advice and because by doing that you are doing
what you are supposed to be which is educate your kid and you need to, we need
to , educate our kid to that and yes it’s hard because we haven’t been educated
but guess what we are the in-between generation right so we were not born
with technology but we are learned to use it in a way our kids are born with
technology so we are in this interesting generation in between right? so probably
like the first time TVs were at homes and they say Oh TVs kill family so and
then people learn how to use TV so I think we’re in the situation and we need
to find the right way to do it so learn, be flexible but spend time, putting the priority for family conversations. right, so not controlling but being aware and I agree
nutrition, mental health, and definitely you know I think exercise, sleep and you
know being aware because technology is not going away it’s here to stay and I
know for a while, I mean when my older children were younger there was a lot of
just like, just don’t don’t get started on going online, don’t do that, but it’s
just not possible today! I mean most of the school systems have access to the
internet kids in high schools are required to have either iPad or a tablet
or some type of electronic that they even use them in the classroom, so it’s
not going away so I think that you nailed it with not trying to be in
control but just being aware and that’s where Qustodio comes in. yeah absolutely
I think you, you’d be even absurd for your kids as you say, don’t use
technology, right? because they are gonna be like other people or something and
they need to know what is that and they need to learn how to use it right? you
you will teach your kids, hey be careful with drinks, smoking, so
technology, is, could be fantastic but could become an addiction like drinking
and smoking , right ? so you need to give them the tools for them to create like
hey , what is healthy and what is not healthy what is right and what is wrong
that’s part of our duty as parents, educate our kids and give them the enough
mechanisms for them to self-regulate I think it’s a great way to create
boundaries ,healthy boundaries, and I mean it can be a humorous way as well because
I like to say that if you want your kids to appear before you like magic
just go on Qustodio and click block internet and they will show up instantly –
there they are I will use it with my daughter today – If
you’re like where is she? oh okay let me go on Qustodio because that’s I’ve done
it with my phone on, my boys, they’re like MOM what happened to my internet, I just wanted to see your face So… – that’s a nice one – I like it –
well I appreciate you being here I’m gonna make sure that all of the links to
get Qustodio for your family will be in the description box if you’re watching
the video they’ll be in the show notes if you’re listening to the podcast and
Qustodio is nice enough to give me a coupon code so if you use organicmom
you can get ten percent off of your Qustodio
that’s just ORGANICMOM you can find that coupon code in the show notes
and like I said it will be in the description box, thank you so much for
being here and helping us to educate, I really appreciate your time! My pleasure. thanks for
listening please write and review so other people can learn about this
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