The Micros: Episode 2 – Play Poker Like the Rose

Call me Tommy. I know, itís been far too long since my last post. My apologies to those of you patiently awaiting Part 3 of ëHacking Farmville for
Fun and Profití. But the rumors youíve no doubt heard are true. How has centupling my bankroll changed my life? As
Cicero once said, ìMoí money, moí problemsî. Is that Hellmuthís book youíre reading? Yeah! Hey, would you say Iím more of an elephant or a jackal? In my opinion, you’re more of a jack-ass. Spoiler alert. I havenít gotten to that chapter yet. “Mo’ problems” indeed. And while weíre dredging up winged words, hereís another
quote thatís turning out to be fatally accurate. ìIn the poker game of life, women are the rake.î (Chase) Bradshaw’s wide open. THROW THE BALL! (Chase) Yes! YES! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! (Rose) Yes! Woohoo!
(Chase) ARE YOU ****ING KIDDING ME?! Come on, Eli! More like E-LOL. Ship it! My cousin Quang gave me the tip – itís an excellent investment opportunity
on a little diamond mining outfit off the coast of Japan. Might be some variance but Iím feeling saucy. Hold on, we still owe my mom a ****load of money for all this stuff
we bought on her credit card. We need to pay her back ASAP. No! We canít risk the cash-out curse! Not while weíre running this hot! Check the fish finder, maybe Gus is playing today. You are not playing the nosebleeds! +1. But I wouldn’t mind railing him for a while. Still waters tonight, just the regular anglers but — Oh snap! The Loose Aggressive Gentlemanís Tournament and Alliance of Reckless
Deviants is in Sweden this year! Letís go there! You havenít exactly had the best of luck at the live tables. Thank God! I finally booked a winning session! **** my life. I need to win a live tournament. Iím sick of
the forum trolls saying Iím just a luckbox. But you are a luckbox. Sure, but Iím sick of them saying it. Then letís show them what you can do on the
cash tables! 100-200 blinds, one buy-in, your account. You are not playing the nosebleeds. Don’t be such babies! We– The White Whale! Quang can get us in on the ground floor, but
we need to check it out in person. Swedenís the play man. They say you havenít lived until youíve eaten Surstrˆmming. Sir What-Now? Surstrˆmming. Here, Iíll show you. Whereís Explorer? I am not opening Internet Explorer. Then whatever, dude. Just open something. I don’t even have Explorer installed. I’m gonna punch you in the ovary. Here, fishy fishy. Come to mama… Ah, thar she blows! Ew, that is NOT the way to eat rotten fish. Itís a delicacy! Roseíll try it, wonít you Rose? Rose? Balls? Out in a minute! Wow. Some sick action at the heads-up tables. That one’s got a wait list 50 deep. Is it Gus? No, but itís definitely a – no, wait itís two Omega-Class Super-Fish. Two?! Oh, hell yeah! Screw Eli, weíre
watching this tonight! Pull up the tables! Itís TurkeyJerky, it has to be. But whoís the other poor bastard? Um, hold on a sec– Chase, that’s– Oh my God. Chase, your account’s been hacked! Not possible, I’m already logged– wait, where’s my laptop? OH MY ****ING GOD! Balls, this is not a +EV situation Jesus, canít a girl drop a deuce around here? One minute I said! BALLS! We know you’re playing the nosebleeds. Open the goddamn door! Relax, guys. Iím up 150k already! Oh, really? Hell yeah!
BOOOM! Never mind. Now I’m down 80k. BALLS! Open the goddamn door! Well played, fish, well played. How the **** does he call me there? Chase, the router, disconnect the router! Gone all gone! Snap out of it, man! My mom is going to kill me! What the hell? She must be on my wireless card! It’s called disconnect protection, bitches! This is beyond insane. Backdoor flush no
problem. Can I run any worse? Balls, you open up right now! You are not allowed to play on
someone elseís account! That is a blatant violation of the Terms of Service! Speak not to me of blasphemy, Tommy! Did she just snap-call the river with ten high? He was bluffing! I knew he was bluffing! YOU HAD TEN HIGH! IT WAS THE NUTS OR NOTHING! I just wish I’d never been born! Nothing matters! Nothing! I came here to hunt whales! The fishermen are gonna take us seriously now! Weíre doomed, Tommy. DOOMED! Sheís on bajunky tilt! Nothing…It’s the end of the world!…NOTHING!…Nothing! You think sheís bajunky tilted? To the last I grapple with thee! ALL-IN! BALLS! From hellís heart I stab at thee! ALL-IN!! BAAALLLS!!! FOR HATE’S SAKE, I SPIT MY LAST BREATH AT THEE! ALL-IN!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAALLLS!!! NOOOOOOO!!! 600 thousand dollars vanished in the swirling black vortex of Roseís madness. And when she awoke, not one moment of the incident could she recall. Gods, if only I could say the same. Weíre checking Balls into a experimental rehab clinic for degenerate gamblers in Melbourne, Australia. Their techniques are top secret: perhaps a combination of Zoloft
and dramatic readings of old Tommy Angelo blog posts? I’m an eagle! Chase is playing the Aussie Millions while weíre here. Heís drawing dead of course,
but itís a small price to pay if it keeps him busy. Me, Iím going to do what any rational person would
do in my shoes: drown the veritas in vino. Itís been a swingy week indeed. I may be off the grid for
a while but will update as soon as wifi and sobriety permit. Live long and profit. –Tommy

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100 thoughts on “The Micros: Episode 2 – Play Poker Like the Rose

  1. @Entropy83 Just cuz someone can't quite read the low-quality video doesn't mean they are under the influence of pharmaceuticals.

    So hand #3 was a SF not a FH, oh well, my mistake. 🙄

  2. I LOVE when he says "Did she just snap call the river with 10 high??!?!?!?!" hahahahaha ! great episode 😀 I think it's a great follow up to the 1. ep. 🙂
    Keep up the good work 😀 and thankk u for making em 😀

  3. what a sick episode maybe it would be funny if i didn't already know what it was like to have a freind play on my account manybe not nosebleeds by those standards but enough to bust my bankrooll in one sessions now my perfect graph looks more like a train wreck

  4. if i won 1.2 million, first thing id do is buy a nice apartment in downtown. then buy a new car. then use the rest to play

  5. Did she just snap call the river with 10 high?
    He was bluffing! I knew he was bluffing!
    YOU HAD 10 HIGH!!!!!
    It was the nuts or nothing!

    Instant classic!

  6. @Muchas85 i think your talking pure 100% shit! if you lost money, you would of followed all news/updates on what happend and who was to blame, and would know it was nothing to do with ivey, stop spouting shit about stuff you dont even know about you total bellend.

  7. i watched 1 minute of the micros and I WILL NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER WATCH YOU NERDS AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. "rose that is not a +EV situation"- the nit said
    jesus, this show is fcking hilarious, I'm so buying in the next sunday million with my food money

  9. @jfhbpgc yeah poker is my second income, playing with real money actually makes you play properly. you dont need a credit card you can get $8 for free get it here ==>

  10. I'm loving this series…just started watching…but even if the the episodes dont get any better youve got a new fan! great work! amazing sense of humour. 

  11. Lmao — Loose Aggressive Gentleman's Tournament at Alliance of Reckless Deviants… too effin' funny.

  12. 2:26
    Why’s Steve crying over a stupid Walmart fish named fishy

    A stupid beta fish you expect to die bc its a Walmart fish]]

    Steve cries and then runs into the shower immediately after

    Godfather died in shower 🚿 #showers #thatWasMyDadsOnlyFriendSpell #reasonsWhyYoureNotMyFriend

    How long ago was that

    My brothers aol status – typed it in old lady – shower related – I type in same of course – so many cookie crumbs old lady

    Mind control beta programming
    #Showers #Chirp #kevinChristian

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